With Or Without You
by Cassiopia
Summary: Ur classic L/J story! :) J thought he had it all: quidditch, friends, and two girlfriends. But L starts to change all that when they spend an evening together in detention! Fluff, marauders, and pg13 just to be safe!!
1. I Solemly Swear That I'm Up to No Good

A/N: Hey guys! This is one of my personal favs that ive written, so I hope you like it! It starts out a bit slow, but if you read to the end of the third chapter, I promise you'll like it!!! R/R, flames are ok if theyre CONSTRUCTIVE critisisms! Tell me whatcha think, reviews=chapters!!!!!!!!!!!! See ya ;-*  
  
DISCLAIMER: All the characters, (Minus Susana, Cass, and a few professors) Belong to JK ROWLING!!! Not me!!!! So don't sue, I have no money!  
  
ONE/I SOLEMLY SWEAR THAT I AM UP TO NO GOOD  
  
"Slaiman with the quaffel, he heads towards the Gryffindor goalpost- NICE SAVE by keeper Patricia Abergasty, and Gryffindor in possesion- wait, whats this- YES! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! JAMES POTTER HAS SEEN THE SNITCH!"  
  
James was only slightly aware of the roar of the crowd, or Ty Jordan's commentary. At that moment, wind whipping through James's messy black hair, he was only aware of one thing; a little, glittering, golden ball that was swimming in the air in front of him. This was it- He reached out with his hands, nearly falling forwards off of his broom-  
  
"YES! HE'S DONE IT! JAMES HAS THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR BEATS SLYTHERIN 200 TO 20 FOR THE CUP!" Ty's shouts were barely heard over the deafening booming coming from the stands. Sure, it was no big surprise that the Gryffindor's had won- after all, ever since James's second year (and first year on the team) they'd never failed to loose a match. Now, in James's sixth year, the tradition was still being carried on-  
  
James took a few victory laps around the stadium, fist high in the air. The golden wings of the tiny snitch could just be seen as James flew over his admirers and fans, all of them cheering him on. He grinned widely and landed next to his team, which probably wasn't the smartest idea. The rest of team launched themselves on him, screaming, "Yes! James! You did it! We won!" Spectators were pouring out into the field, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Petigrew in the lead. James untangled himself from his team and his friends began beating him on the back in congradulations. Soon James was surrounded by a huge group of fans, his girlfriend, Victoria Patil, pushing her way towards him. He swept her up in a big hug swung her around, while she laughed joyfully and yelled, "Yes! James, you did it!" As he put her down, the Marauders hoisted James up and carried him up to the common room on their shoulders, the rest of the Gryffindors following eagerly behind. James had never been happier in his life.  
  
Lily Evans stood with her friends Susana Longbottom and Cassandra Hollands in the stands, cheering on the popular James Potter as he reached for the snitch. As his hands grasped it's fluttering wings, Lily, Susana, and Cass yelled themselves hoarse. Cass and Lily jumped up and down, hugging each other and shrieking "We've won! We've won!" Susan yelled and hugged the person nearest to her- Arthur Weasly, a third year. Arthur looked a bit embaressed, but he, too, was extremely excited about Gryffindor winning the Quidditch cup.  
  
"Yes! We've won the cup, I'm so glad! That awfull Lucious Malfoy would never have let us hear the end of it if he'd gotten to the snitch first!" Lily exclaimed, dancing about and hugging Cassandra again. Cass laughed and Susana turned to them, eyes sparkling.  
  
"Party time!" She announced, and pointed to the massive hoard of Gryffindors hurrying eagerly up to the castle, James and the rest of the team being carried by everyone else. Cass, Lily, and Susana grinned at each other, then took off after their house.  
  
Nearly seven hours later, at eleven o'clock, the party in Gryffindor house was still going strong. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin had snuck out earlier, returning with bottles of butterbeer and pumpkin fizz, Berty Bott's and Chocolate frogs. They handed them out to people, throwing them at a few that they didn't particularly like.  
  
Lily, Susana, and Cass managed to get three bottles of Butterbeer and a box of Berty Bott's to share. They settled on the sofa in front of the fire, joining the large group that was encircling James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius. The four of them were doing a stand-up act, and their audience was in stitches. No doubt that the four of them were funny.  
  
James, Remus, Sirius and Peter were in their sixth year, just as Lily, Cass, and Susan were. Though they had most classes together, Lily'd never really talked to James. Not since at least first or second year, anyway. They'd gotten caught up in their own lives, and James, whose popularity level was through the roof, never had time to talk to Lily anymore. She didn't mind though, she could have her own fun. Without the famous James Potter. To prove this to herself, she got up and went to find some other entertainment.  
  
At three o'clock in the morning, the final stragglers left the common room. The young head of Gryffindor house, a new witch named Minerva McGonagall, had finally burst into the common room and demanded that they go to sleep.  
  
Normally, she would have come and yelled much earlier, but she'd had one too many pints of mulled mead with the headmaster, and had just now worked up enough energy to come tell everyone off.  
  
Perhaps she wouldn't have been so mad if Sirius and James hadn't been trying to set off a round of Fillibuster Fireworks.  
  
Lily, full of junkfood and still slightly giddy from tonight's party, which she'd spent flirting with a fifth year named Amos Diggory, dragged herself into bed and fell asleep instantly, before she could be bothered to turn out the lamp.  
  
James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius, however, had no thoughts in mind of sleep. They were too wired on sugar and Pumpkin Fizz, which had an extremely dangerous amount of caffeine in it. Well, dangerous when the Marauders were the ones drinking it.  
  
They'd huddled under James's invisibility cloak, pockets stuffed with fireworks and matches, laughing and sniggering uncontrollably.  
  
"Shh!" Peter whimpered, though he couldn't help but give a bit of a laugh himself as Remus nearly tumbled down the dormitory stairs. When they'd calmed themselves down a bit, they continued on their way, pushing open the portrait of the fat lady and venturing down the silent, dark corridor.  
  
"Severus isn't gonna know what hit him!" Remus snickered, crashing into Sirius. The two of them nearly fell over with laughter, and James, who could barely stand himself, tried to mutter "Shh! Shh!" but it just made them laugh harder.  
  
Finally, nearly fifteen minutes later, they'd managed to stumble their way down to the dungeons, stopping to kick Mrs. Norris on their way.  
  
"Allright," James said quietly. "Don't any of you make a sound. We're gonna sneak right up to his room, set em off, and RUN. Got it?" The others nodded. Sirius swallowed another laugh.  
  
"Buggerworm," James said, and the doorway to the cold Slytherin common room swung open.  
  
The staircase was fairly simple to find- the common room was set up in the same way as Gryffindor's. They climbed the stairs carefully, stopping for a moment when Peter swore he heard something.  
  
SIXTH YEARS. The Marauders found the marked door and pushed it silently open. Sirius sniggered again as they entered the room, and James whacked him in the back of the head. The boys emptied their pockets, making a giant pile of fireworks by the door.  
  
"On three, I think," James said, holding up a lit match to show what he meant. The other's lit their matches and held them out.  
  
"One," Sirius choked out, and burst into another round of laughter. He'd had a bit more pumpkin fizz than the others.  
  
"Two," Peter whimpered. He looked as if he was about to pee his pants.  
  
"Three!" James whispered. They dropped their burning matches onto the fireworks and did exactly as James had instructed- RAN.  
  
They'd made it to the doorway of the common room when they heard the explosion- it sounded as though several large bombs had exploded in the boys dormitory. The unmistakable shouts of Severus Snape, Lucious Malfoy, and the other three Slytherin sixth years echoed through the house.  
  
The Marauders piled out into the corridor, not bothering with the cloak and laughing harder than they ever had. They raced down the hallways, and had just about made it to the Gryffindor common room when-  
  
"Meow!" a loud, almost evil sound errupted from the floor in front of them. Mrs. Norris was hissing at them, back arched. They stopped, laughter lost. They stared at each other a moment, and Peter squeaked as footsteps echoed down the hallway.  
  
"Filch!" Remus whispered, and the four of them struggled to get under the cloak. Too late.  
  
"Ah, good work, my sweet," Filch said to his cat, grinning horribly at the four boys. He'd appeared seemingly out of nowhere, but they happened to know there was a secret passage hidden behind the portrait to the right of them.  
  
"Reckon we shouldn't have kicked her," Sirius muttered under his breath. James elbowed him in the stomach.  
  
"I think, boys, that a trip to the headmaster is in order, don't you?" Filch said, still flashing his ugly, yellow-toothed smile at them. Peter groaned, and the others followed Filch up the hallway to the stone gargoyl entrance to Professor Dumbledore's office. 


	2. Professor Esmerelda

TWO/PROFESSOR ESMERELDA  
  
It was late Sunday morning, nearly noon, when Lily finally woke up. She sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes and checking her watch. She moaned angrily when she saw the time, and forced herself to pull out of bed and get dressed.  
  
When she emerged into the common room fifteen minutes later, hair brushed and faced washed, she was feeling much more awake. She'd planned on studying today, but she thought she'd put that off until a bit later. Right now, she mostly wanted to head down to the Great Hall and get herself some food.  
  
She was passing the couch in front of the fireplace when she had a sudden realization- there were two people on that couch. Not just any two people, but James and Victoria, making out. Lily rolled her eyes and walked on by, but she made sure she slammed the portrait behind her, just to give them a bit of a scare.  
  
"What was that for?" the fat lady called irritably after her.  
  
"Sorry," Lily said, turning around and smiling fake-sweetly. "Just making sure the hinges turned allright." She continued on her way, leaving a very grumpy fat lady behind her.  
  
Lily joined the Gryffindor table as lunch appeared on the golden, shimmering plates. She found Susana and Cass easily, they were bickering loudly over the answers to a potions quiz that they were taking the next day.  
  
"'Lo," Lily said cheefully, sitting down. Her friends looked up at her and stopped arguing.  
  
"'Bout time you got up, Lil," Cass said, checking her watch. "I was wondering if you'd died."  
  
"No, just tired," Lily said, yawning. She reached for an apple and took a big bite out of it.  
  
"Seen Amos this morning?" Susana asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Lily grinned and rolled her eyes at her friend.  
  
"No. Seen Charles this morning?" Susana blushed a bright red.  
  
"No!" She said. "But I did see James and Victoria."  
  
"Oy, so did I," Lily said. "They were going at it like monkies on the couch in the common room."  
  
"Remind me not to sit there tonight," Cass said, grabbing a sandwhich from the platter in front of her.  
  
"Those two have been dating FOREVER," Lily commented, stealing a few chips off of Susana's plate. "I'm surprised Victoria's not pregnant yet." The three of them giggled, and Susana said, "Yeah, well, you know what Peter told me a few days ago in Herbology?"  
  
Cass groaned. "Susana, how many times do we have to warn you. DON'T talk to Peter. He's a sniffling whimp, and people will get the wrong idea." Susana merely blinked at Cass and turned her attention to Lily.  
  
"Anyway," she said, pointedly ignoring Cass, who scowled and took a bite of her sandwhich.  
  
"Yeah, what'd he say?" Lily asked, trying not to laugh at her friends. They argued over the stupidest things.  
  
"He told me that James was only dating her because of his reputation," Susana said, eyes glinting. She lived for gossip.  
  
"I believe it," Lily said, turning to pour herself some Pumpkin fizz. Not that she hadn't had enough last night.  
  
"Anyway, we should go down and visit Hagrid today," Cass suggested, changing the subject. "We haven't seen him in forever."  
  
"Yeah, but we may get in trouble," Susana said, looking a bit worried. "After all, the last time we went down there and professor Whettle caught us-''  
  
"That's only because we were prodding the whomping willow. We won't this time," Lily said, waving her hand dismisivly.  
  
"Great. It's settled then," Cass said, and the three friends turned their attention to the plates of food in front of them.  
  
Meanwhile, up in the common room, James and Victoria had finally put a stop to their three-hour snogging session. Victoria was straightening her robes as James stood up. She'd been meaning to talk to him, and now was as good a time as any-  
  
"James," Victoria said. "Can you sit down a second?"  
  
"Sure, Vicky," James said, smiling at her and sitting down. "What's up?"  
  
"Well, you know, we've been dating awhile," she started, not sure how to put this.  
  
"Uh huh," James nodded his head in agreement. He was starving, and he crossed his fingers in hopes that Vicky wouldn't keep him here too long.  
  
"And, well, I was thinking- d'you think, that, well, maybe, I mean, well."  
  
"Out with it," James prompted, somewhat more loudly than he'd intended. Vicky looked up at him and tried to form the words she wanted to say in her mind. She was the hottest Gryffindor, and the most popular girl in the sixth year, but her brain was tinier than a frog's. James was just thinking this when Victoria finally strung her words together.  
  
"Well, nine months is a lot, and I know originally we agreed to see other people, too- but you don't suppose- I mean, shouldn't we, that is to say-?"  
  
"Go steady?" James asked, realizing what she was getting at.  
  
"Yeah! Exactly!" Victoria said, nodding happily. James stared at her.  
  
"I dunno, Vick, lemme think about that one," James said, getting off the couch.  
  
"Why not?" She asked, surprised. She followed him out through the portrait hole and towards the Great Hall.  
  
"Because, Vicky, what if we're not meant to be together? I need to have options," he said, giving her the same excuse he'd given her the last six times they'd had this conversation.  
  
"Okay," she said meekly, and he started jogging down the corridors, yelling back at her, "Gotta meet with McGonagall to schedule a detention. See you later!"  
  
After a nice afternoon visit with Hagrid, Lily, Cass, and Susana found their way up to the Great Hall for dinner. They were starved, not having eaten anything since lunch. Of course, Hagrid had offered them a few things, but they knew better than to eat his food.  
  
Victoria was sitting by herself at the end of the table when they came into the room. Lily looked up and down the table, until she found James, who was surrounded by his usual fan club. Deciding to be nice to Victoria, Lily lead her friends over to sit with her.  
  
"Hey, Vick," Lily said, sitting down.  
  
"Hello," Victoria said dully. It was well-know that she was somewhat, well, DIM, but she was alright if you didn't ask too many questions. Anyway, the girls shared a room with Victoria, so they knew her pretty well.  
  
"What's wrong?" Susana asked as she took some chicken off of the platter in front of her.  
  
"Oh, just James," Vick said, shaking her head and staring at her plate.  
  
"What about him?" Lily asked, curious. They'd seemed very happy when she'd seen them earlier this morning.  
  
"Oh," Vick sighed. "He just never seems to want to commit to anything."  
  
"I see," Lily said. "So you asked him to go steady again?"  
  
"Yeah," Victoria nodded glumly.  
  
"Well, Vicky, cheer up. At least you know he's not seeing anyone else right now, so that's kind of like going steady, right?" Cass asked, helping herself to some rolls and steak. Their plates were considerably full now.  
  
"No," Victoria shook her head and took a bite of what looked like a squashed roll. "He's seeing this girl in Ravenclaw, too. Jieyon Chang. She's on their Quidditch team."  
  
"Oh," Susana said, scanning the Ravenclaw table for Jiji, as her friends called her. She, too, was surrounded by a huge crowd of people. The Quidditch players were all pretty popular. The seekers were, anyway.  
  
"Sorry, guys, but I gotta run," Lily said, backing out of the conversation. "I'm supposed to be studying, and I need to go talk to Professor Esmerelda about the last quiz we took."  
  
"Good luck," Cass said, grinning. Professor Saraphine Esmerelda was the Divination teacher. Cass and Lily didn't like her class much, so they made it a game to see who could cause the most trouble in that class.  
  
Lily trudged up the stairs to the north tower, taking her time. She and Professor Esmerelda had had their differences, and she wasn't too keen on seeing her outside of class. The last time that'd happened, she'd lost 15 points for Gryffindor by "smart-mouthing" Professor Esmerelda.  
  
Finally reaching the north tower, she called up to her teacher, who sent the ladder down to Lily.  
  
"Good evening, dear," Professor Esmerelda said in a calm, cool voice. It reminded Lily of a bit of fog, it could wash over you, make you blank out and not see, then, in Lily's case, fall asleep.  
  
"Hello, Professor," Lily said, walking up to Professor Esmerelda's "desk." It was more of a giant, circular pillow on the ground with a tea table set up in front of it.  
  
"You have a question for me, my dear," Professor Esmerelda stated, implying that she'd foreseen this. Lily fought hard not to roll her eyes.  
  
"Yes, Professor," Lily said. "I was wondering why you failed me on that last quiz."  
  
"Ah, well, dear, you didn't try very hard on it, did you?" Professor Esmerelda asked gently.  
  
"Yeah, I did," Lily said. She really HAD tried on that quiz, and gotten the lowest grade on it that she'd ever gotten in that class. She was better off making stuff up.  
  
"Now, dear, it's not wise to lie to a divination teacher," Professor Emerelda said sternly.  
  
"But I'm not lying!" Lily protested loudly. "That grade was so unfair!"  
  
"Child, I suggest that you calm yourself," Professor Esmerelda said, standing up.  
  
"But you're not giving me a fair chance here," Lily said. "Susana Longbottom is the slowest girl in the grade, maybe with the exception of Victoria, and you gave them BOTH C's for effort."  
  
"I suggest that you stop talking to me in this tone of voice," Professor Esmerelda drew herself up supeiriorly. "Or you will find yourself in an even worse situation than you were in."  
  
Lily took three deep, calming breaths, and proceeded in a somewhat more civilized way.  
  
"May I re-take the quiz, professor?"  
  
"No."  
  
"NO!?" Lily shouted. "Professor, I need to pass this class to qualify for the N.E.W.T.s! This quiz lowered me to a D; THAT'S NOT A PASSING GRADE!"  
  
"Miss Evans, that tone is COMPLETELY inappropriate and rude. Detention."  
  
Lily just stared, then, "Fine. Fine. You know what? I don't care. I'll go arrange it with Professor McGonagall myself. It's better than standing in a room with you for another moment." Lily ran off and climbed down the ladder hurriedly, before Professor Esmerelda could give her any more punishment 


	3. Elbow Grease

THREE/ELBOW GREASE  
  
James was extremely unhappy and bored out of his mind. He was sitting in a dungeon with Filch, cleaning out old cauldrons. With sponges, mind you. Muggle-style.  
  
James looked around the room. It was so unbelievably dark and damp down here. He was surprised that the Slytherins could stand LIVING here. He supposed that it must at least be a bit drier in their house. Or maybe they just got used to it. Then again, they were all a bit cold and slimy themselves, so they probably fit right in. Examples, Severus Snape and Lucious Malfoy.  
  
James was just thinking this, scrubbing his first cauldron out of twenty for the third time, when the door opened. He'd expected Professor Whettle, the Slytherin head, or maybe Filch's cat coming in to visit his master. Come to think of it, Filch was a bit cold and wet, too, just like this dungeon. Perhaps he would have been a Slytherin, had he not been a squib. James sniggered under his breath.  
  
The person who walked in a moment later was not Mrs. Norris. It was the last person James would have expected to see in detention, and he almost dropped his scouring sponge in surprise.  
  
"Lily Evans?" Filch asked.  
  
"Yeah, that's right," Lily responded, not bothering to show Filch any respect. James gave her props for that, Filch didn't deserve it, really.  
  
"You're to help Potter here clean out these cauldrons," he sneered, glaring at her. "Until they are SPARKLING clean. Mr. Potter has been working on this one for at least twenty minutes, so I suggest you get started."  
  
Lily rolled her eyes and settled herself at the cauldron next to James, pulling a rough-looking sponge from a bucket next to him.  
  
"'Lo, James," Lily said quietly but cheerfully, talking so that Filch couldn't hear her. He was sitting on the other side of the room, polishing with looked like a very old string of chains.  
  
"Hi, Lily," James greeted her. He silently tried to remember the last time they'd talked. Second year, maybe? He couldn't put his finger on it.  
  
"Been here awhile, eh?" she asked, making small talk. James Potter may be famous school-wide, but she wasn't going to sit here with her mouth shut for hours just because she was on a different social level than him.  
  
"Mm," he agreed. "Half an hour, at the least. Don't know what he's talking about 'twenty minutes.' Trying to make us stay a bit longer, I suppose." Lily sort-of laughed, and they fell into silence for a moment while they scrubbed at the cauldrons.  
  
"What in the name of cleensweeps is on these things?" Lily asked, scrubbing hard on one side of the grime-covered cauldron and making no progress.  
  
"No idea," James said, still scrubbing the inside of his. He'd managed to get most of the outside to it's regular color, but it hadn't been easy.  
  
"Ah, well," Lily said, giving in and scrubbing anyway. Silence.  
  
"So what are you in for?" James asked a few moments later, rinsing his sponge in the bucket.  
  
"Talking back to Professor Esmerelda," Lily said with a joyful tone. "She deserved it though, I told her off good."  
  
James couldn't help but laugh at this. He hated Divination, and told Lily so.  
  
"So do I," Lily agreed, finally cleaning off a bit of the cauldron. "Cassandra and I made a game out of seeing who can cause the most trouble in her class. Never works that well though, what with you, Remus, Sirius, and Peter having teacup fights and such." James grinned.  
  
"Yeah, we figure there are better things to do than stare at the grime in the bottom of a teacup," James said. Lily smiled, and said, "yeah, like cleaning the grime out of the bottom of a cauldron." James laughed a bit, then said, "So what'd she do to piss you off?"  
  
"Eh, gave me an F on a quiz. Funny thing is though, it's the lowest grade I've ever gotten in her class, and the only time I've actually tried." The two of them looked at each other and burst into a fit of laughter. Filch looked up from his chains and glared at them until they quieted down.  
  
"Sounds a bit like me. I get great grades in everything except that class," James said, finishing up his first cauldron and moving to the one on the other side of Lily. She talked while he moved, saying, "Yeah, me too. Cass keeps expecting me to be head girl, but I don't think so, not with Saraphine teaching divination." James snickered and said, "Yeah, Remus says the same thing. I think he's just a bit jealous though, he's a great student but no one really notices."  
  
Lily wanted to say something about James only being noticed because of Quidditch, but she held her tongue. Instead, she just nodded, as if to say, "that's too bad."  
  
"So," Lily continued on. "What did YOU do to get in here?"  
  
"I uh, caused a bit of trouble with the Slytherins," James said mysteriously.  
  
"Oh, come on! Please tell," Lily begged. "Especially if it involved that awful Lucious Malfoy."  
  
"Oh, it does," James reassured her, though he still didn't say what he'd done. He looked up and grinned at her, and she threw her sponge at him, giggling. "Out with it, then!"  
  
"Alright," he agreed, sounding reluctant. Though, in real life, he was having fun talking to Lily. "We lit off a bunch of Fillibuster Fireworks in the Sixth Year dormitory a few days ago," James said with an air of pride. Lily dropped her sponge and burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles and laughter. James smiled and then couldn't help himself, he laughed too.  
  
"Get back to work!" Filch snapped from across the room. They slowed their giggles a bit and scrubbed again.  
  
"I hate Malfoy," Lily commented a few minutes later, when all was quiet again. "He thinks he's a horribly great Quidditch player, and he looks as though he can barely fly."  
  
"Yeah, but Snape's worse," James said, looking at Lily. "The slimy git tried to get me suspended in my third year. Said I was sneaking about the grounds outside."  
  
"Were you?" Lily asked, and she, too, stopped scrubbing. Looking up at James, she eyed him suspiciously.  
  
"Yeah, but that's not important," James said, waving his hand in the air dismisivly. "To make a long story short, I got out of it by telling Dumbledore I'd gone out to pick up some work I'd left at Hagrid's the night before." He grinned at Lily and she smiled back. They sat there, looking at each other and grinning, for a few moments, until Filch's voice rang out from the back of the room. They sighed and got back to scrubbing. By now, they'd finished three cauldrons, and Lily was almost done with the fourth.  
  
"So, what're you planning on for Christmas break?" James asked Lily a few minutes later. "Going home with the family?"  
  
"Nah," Lily said, scrubbing at a particularly green spot on her third cauldron. "I'm sure my folks would like it, but I can't stand my older sister. She thinks she's so great, and that I'm this huge freak."  
  
"Ah," James said, thinking this over. "How come?"  
  
"I'm a Muggle-born," Lily said matter-of-factly. She gave James a look, as if challenging him to say something about it.  
  
"That's cool," he said, still scrubbing. "I think it's dumb, really, when people say Muggle-borns are.not sufficient witches." He looked up at her and she quickly looked back down at her cauldron.  
  
"Thanks," she said finally. "So what are you doing for break?"  
  
"Definatly staying here. No way am I missing a chance to cause trouble with the m- my friends," James said, grinning. Lily smiled.  
  
"The who?"  
  
"My friends," James repeated, giving her an innocent look. She shrugged. "Whatever."  
  
"Yeah." The two of them finished up their cauldrons, leaving seven done and thirteen to go. This wasn't nearly as bad as James thought it would have been. Lily was really great, he'd forgotton what a nice person she was. She simply wasn't popular enough to have hung out with him all these years.  
  
At this thought, he cringed, realizing how stuck-up that sounded.  
  
"What?" Lily asked. She's seen him flinch.  
  
"Nothing," James said, keeping his head down and scrubbing. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized it was probably true. He needed a second opinion.  
  
"Er, Lily?"  
  
"Yeah?" she asked, still scrubbing. She was getting good at this.  
  
"D'you.d'you think maybe my. large group of friends has gone to my head?"  
  
"What, your popularity?" she asked, dropping her sponge into the bucket and wiping her hands on her robes.  
  
"Yeah," James nodded. "Well?"  
  
"Do you want the truth or a lie?"  
  
"The truth!"  
  
Lily grinned, then her face softened and she replied, "Well, maybe just a bit. After all, you haven't talked to me for, what- four years?"  
  
James thought about taking offense to what she'd said, then changed his mind. Instead, he moved on to the next cauldron.  
  
Lily scoured her cauldron, not paying attention to the pain in her arm from all that scrubbing. So James thought maybe he was a bit of an air-head? She wasn't saying he wasn't but-  
  
"James."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Don't take that the wrong way. You're still a great guy."  
  
James looked up at her. Lily stopped working and looked at him too.  
  
"Yeah, right," he said, "We haven't talked in forever. How would you know?"  
  
"Well, let's see. You're nice, you're smart, though not smarter than me [he laughed], and you're handsome. You're a great Quidditch player and you're hilliariously funny. I mean really, really funny," Lily listed. Then, realizing all of what she'd just said, she blushed a crimson red and looked back down into her cauldron. Was it possible that she might have a crush on James Potter?  
  
Grinning to himself, James shifted his eyes back to his cauldron. He scrubbed as Lily moved to the other side of him, toting the bucket with her. She was definatly a very flattering person, but that was just one of her many features that James found were growing quickly on him.  
  
"So, Lil," he said, changing the subject. "What're you planning on doing after Hogwarts?"  
  
"Mm, I'm not quite sure," Lily responded. "I was thinking maybe something with Arithmancy, it's my favorite subject. Or maybe something to do with Muggles, since I was raised by them. What about you?"  
  
"Quidditch. Or maybe something in the ministry," James said after a moment's thought.  
  
"Or both," Lily suggested. James nodded, that wouldn't be too bad. Then at least he could get his dad off of his back. He seemed to be forever telling James that Quidditch was a sport, not a real profession. //That'd work// he thought as he moved to the next cauldron. They didn't have that many more to go, he noticed. Time was flying by while he talked to Lily.  
  
Lily quietly cleaned her cauldron, thinking about life after Hogwarts. It was a good question, now that she thought about it. She was definatly bright enough to do some good work, but none of that office-type stuff really interested her. She was more of an activist.  
  
"Hey Lil?"  
  
"Yeah?" Lily snapped out of her trance.  
  
"What do you suppose is gonna happen with all of this Voldemort stuff?"  
  
"I'm not really sure," Lily said. "He's definatly a terrible man, I'm terrified to be anywhere outside of the school. Even Hogsmede."  
  
"Especially Hogsmede," James agreed. "Maybe I'll become an auror, and fight him,"  
  
"That'd be good," Lily said. That didn't sound like a bad idea, come to think of it. "Susana Longbottom's brother Frank is planning on being one, he's a few years older. She says he has to work really hard, but I think it'd be worth it, don't you?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah," James said. This idea was sounding better and better, though it wasn't really James's thing. He usually either joked around or studied hard. None of this hands-on stuff. But he felt like impressing Lily.  
  
Not that he needed to, of course. Part of his popularity was that he never tried to impress anyone, he just DID. This was strange, feeling like he had to prove something to Lily. She felt like an equal to him.  
  
"Done," she said triumphantly, and moved to the other side of James. Glancing around for Filch, she saw him snoozing in the back of the room, a pile of sparkling, well-oiled chains dangling from his hands. Lily looked down; there were only a few cauldrons left.  
  
"James," Lily whispered, nodding at Filch. He glanced at Filch and looked back at Lily, grinning.  
  
"What d'you say we spell these others clean and skip out?" Lily asked, eyes sparkling.  
  
"I like the way you think," he commented, pulling out his wand in unison with her. "An Appulatus charm?"  
  
"Yes, I think so," Lily nodded.  
  
"One."  
  
"Two."  
  
"Three!" they said together, then, "Appulate!" A flash of a watery-colored light burst from the ends of their wands and poured over the cauldrons. In a moment, they were glinting in the candlelight.  
  
"Race you to the tower," James challenged Lily, shoving his wand back in his pocket.  
  
"On three," Lily said, following suit and putting her wand away.  
  
"One, two-Hey!" James yelled as Lily took off ahead of him, laughing madly, red hair streaming behind her. James ran.  
  
Of course, he beat her. Being a Marauder, he knew far more secret passages than she. James was waiting by the portrait of the fat lady (who was snoring loudly) when Lily arrived, panting hard.  
  
"You-dirty-cheater," she managed to get out between taking deep breaths.  
  
"I'm offended you would ever suggest such a thing!" James protested mock- indignantly. She glared at him, though she wasn't really upset. James laughed and said, "Gugglefish!" loudly, jolting the fat lady awake. The portrait swung open, and the two of them entered the common room.  
  
"Well, I guess this is it," James said in a dramatic voice. She slugged him playfully in the shoulder.  
  
"Nice cleaning with you," Lily said, and with a smile, headed towards her dormitory stairs.  
  
"See you," James called after her. Lily waved her hand over her head in response, not bothering to turn around. Though James didn't know it, Lily'd soon be whispering to Susana and Cass about what a great night she'd just spent in detention.  
  
James climbed the stairs slowly, reaching his dormitory almost five minutes later. He opened the door gently, trying not to wake anyone. He didn't feel like banging it open and messing with them right now, he was thinking about something very hardly.  
  
"Have fun?" Sirius's voice said quietly from where he lay in bed, startling James and sending him feet into the air.  
  
"Er, yeah, actually," James said, climbing into bed. "Dead-tired though. Goodnight."  
  
Drawing the bed curtains around him, he wondered just exactly what Sirius would say if James told him what was on his mind. He'd probably freak. But no matter what anyone did, even Sirius, James's best friend, would change what had happened.  
  
James Potter had a huge crush on Lily Evans.  
  
A/N: You like???????? Take a second and review if u do, ill try to hurry on with more chapters!!! I plan on having some problems for james and lily (what with victoria and other things) but we all know how it ends up :^) cuz look at the title (With or Without You) hmm WHAT COULD THIS MEAN? But itll be happy in the end.so review and keep readin!! 


	4. Best Friends Always Know

A/N: Hey every1! Just a quick note that I fixed up the formating, sorry I know it was SO hard to read!! But I didn't realize I put up the original version. Im not so sure where this's going, I've written a million different versions of the fourth chapter, so bare with me if it suddenly changes!! Anyway, hope you enjoyin my story, thanks so much everyone who reviewed, you guys totally made my day! (  
  
FOUR/ BEST FRIENDS ALWAYS KNOW  
  
Lily stared out the window at the lake, watching the giant squid propel itself across the lake, water churning about it's tenticals. She'd only been in Divination fifteen minutes, but she was ready to scream. The north tower was stuffy and hot, and there was no way she'd be able to live until the end of class and get down to lunch.  
  
At the front of the room, James and his friends sat still, unusually calm and silent. The four of them had had a bit of a row just before they reached the room, and they were extremely frustrated with each other. James was leaning back against his armchair, watching Lily as she gazed longingly out the window. She looked really pretty sitting there, red hair contrasting enormously with the glittering blue lake just visible through the window. His mind drifted back to detention, the night before, and he found himself wishing that he could go off somewhere and talk with Lily again, just the two of them.  
  
Sirius, who never missed a thing, took great interest in the way his best friend was looking at Lily Evans. It was the sort of look that James had when he was with Jiji or Victoria- only multiplied by at least a hundred times. Sirius studied his friend carefully, trying to guess what he was thinking about. He found that it wasn't very hard; to Sirius, it was completely obvious that his best friend had a crush on Lily.  
  
Lily's gaze drifted away from the lake. Only five more minutes had passed, and Lily felt like screaming. To pass the time, she began thinking about James, and last night in detention. She'd found herself really, really enjoying his company, and she wished more than anything that right now, she could get herself out of this classroom and be talking with James, somewhere, alone. Of course, Cass and Susana would get suspicious - she'd told them about detention and how nice James was, but she hadn't told them that she liked him. She didn't really care what they thought about that right now, though, she just wanted to talk with James.  
  
A few minutes later, her wish was granted.  
  
James, who was sitting near the shelf of crystal balls, had had quite enough of this sweltering classroom. Quietly taking out his wand, he tapped it against the table, thinking of a good spell to use. It came to him very quickly, and in the moment that Professor Esmerelda turned around to stir the fire, he pointed his wand at the shelf and whispered, "Expladoeus." The crystal balls shattered in one big BANG, sending smoke pouring into the room. The class cheered, quickly escaping the tower room, though now they were each coughing with each breath.  
  
When they were down the ladder, James's friends sort of stood around him grinning, though they were still a bit mad at each other. James was about to say they should go disrupt Whettles class, when he saw Lily climbing down the ladder.  
  
"See you at lunch," James said, and started off towards Lily. His friends, who simply assumed that James was still angry, each took a separate route to the great hall.  
  
"Hey, Lil', want to take a walk?" James asked, as Lily stepped off the ladder.  
  
"Yeah," she said, grinning, and the two of them walked off down a corridor. Cass, who was coming down the ladder behind Lily, watched them go. //That's really odd// Cass thought to herself as she watched Lily playful push James, who was laughing. //She's FLIRTING with him.// But before she could come up with any other sort of ideas about Lily and James, the two of them turned a corner.  
  
Lily couldn't believe her luck. She got to miss over half of Divination, and then she had lunch. Plus, she was alone with James, which was better than missing every Divination class for the rest of the year, in her opinion.  
  
"Nice trick with the crystal balls," Lily congratulated James, who grinned and took a bow.  
  
"Thank you, thank you. But that room was way too hot. There was no way I was going to sit in there for another forty minutes," James commented, pulling on Lily's arm slightly to indicate that they were turning another corner. She smiled to herself, feeling really giddy, which was totally unlike her.  
  
"Yeah, I was really hoping for a way out of there myself. Her class is SO boring."  
  
"Yeah," James agreed. They walked in comfortable silence for a bit, then James said, "I had a lot of fun in detention last night."  
  
"Me too," Lily said, stealing a look at him. He was looking ahead of them, but he was grinning slightly.  
  
"You know what you said, about the popularity thing?"  
  
"Uh huh," Lily said, a little uncertainly. This was a somewhat touchy subject.  
  
"Well, I've been thinking," James said, "and you know what? You're right. From now on, I'm gonna not be so stuck up, not ignore people anymore, and I'm not going to do anything just to be popular."  
  
Lily stopped and studied him for a moment. He turned to look at her.  
  
"Would you be willing to make a bet on that?"  
  
"Yeah," James said. "What'll you give me?" Lily laughed.  
  
"All right," she said. "If I win, you have to.completely embarrass yourself in front of all of your friends."  
  
"And if I win," said James, smiling, "then YOU have to.do stand up with me, Remus, Sirius, and Peter for one week."  
  
"In front of ALL the common room?" Lily exclaimed, and James looked pointedly at her. "Oh.I get it. Okay, it's a deal." She stuck out her hand, which James shook. They grinned at each other and continued walking.  
  
"Can you believe the O.W.L.'s are already four months away?"  
  
"No, it seems like yesterday Sirius and I were blowing off studying for them." he stopped and laughed. It took Lily a minute, then she got it.  
  
"You know, you should start studying SOMETIME," Lily pointed out.  
  
"Yes, Professor McGonagall," James said in an innocent voice, and Lily hit him playfully.  
  
"Shut it, you," she said, and James laughed.  
  
By now, they'd reached the first floor, and emerged into the entrance hallway about two minutes after lunch appeared on the platters.  
  
"Sit with me?" James asked sweetly, making his eyes look big and pleading. Lily rolled her eyes, but cracked a small grin and said, "No, Mr. Popularity, sit with me."  
  
James looked her up and down, as if sizing her up, then smiled and said, "All right, then."  
  
The two of them sat down in the middle of the table, near Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Victoria.  
  
"Hey," James said, sitting down. Lily, who wasn't that great of friends with the boys, sat across from Victoria.  
  
"Hey," Victoria said to the two of them, frowning at James. "Where have you been, James-y? I was looking for you earlier."  
  
Lily noticed that James avoided her eyes when saying, "Oh, just around."  
  
"With who?" Victoria asked suspiciouly.  
  
"Oh, no one."  
  
"Are you sure you weren't walking with LILY?" Victoria asked coldly. The group froze. Remus and Sirius, who'd been engaged in enthusiastic conversation, quieted and looked up. Lily shifted uneasily. Everyone was silent for a moment, then James said in a very steady, calm voice, "I was. Why?"  
  
Victoria stared at him. The others stared at their plates, waiting for the next blow to come. It was only a matter of seconds until it did, as Victoria was in a bad mood. She was incredibly horrible when she was mad, and right now, she'd had enough of James playing her.  
  
"James, I've talked to you once, twice, a hundred times, but nothing seems to get through your thick head." She was speaking really loudly, and many people walking into the hall had stopped to watch. "So this time, it's GOING to get through. You have to pick, only me, or no me at all." She glared defiantly at him. He stared evenly back, and in a moment, spoke into the silence.  
  
"Victoria, I am not 'with' Lily. At all. And as for Jiji, well, I'll have to think about that." James said, staring back at her. Lily was appalled, he couldn't believe he was still considering playing Victoria after all that they'd just talked about. But what hurt her the most was the fact that he'd said, so clearly, that he was NOT with her. Lily felt a sudden urge to run out of the hall, but she restrained herself. Rather, she saw Cass enter with Susana, and she cleared her throat. The group looked at her, and Victoria just stared, as if appalled that she had the nerve to say something.  
  
"I'm gonna leave," Lily said softly, and stood up. James glared at his plate, ready to throttle Victoria. But if he didn't date her, then maybe someone else would, and she was really popular.  
  
James took a deep, angry breath. Peter inched away, looking scared. James continued to stare at his plate as if he was about to kill it, wanting to take back that last thought. If Lily knew he'd thought it.  
  
Lily. He looked down the table to see Lily sitting down with her friends.what were their names again? He knew the ugly one was Susana.Cass, was the other? As before, it suddenly dawned on him how rude he was, and how he had no idea what these girls names were, whom he'd known for 6 years.  
  
Sitting down with Cass and Susana, Lily blurted out the story in one breath. She was shaking all over; she hated confrontations. Cass and Susana exchanged glances, then Cass cleared her throat.  
  
"Lily, you need to get over this. Soon."  
  
"Like, now," Susana said, biting into an apple.  
  
"Huh?" Lily asked, staring at her friends. She rubbed her right eye, where a tear was threatening to escape. She was so dramatic sometimes.  
  
"James. Get over James," Cass said pointedly. She was a little pissed off about being ignored all day while Lily and James walked about like they were the only people in the world.  
  
"He's just gonna play you anyway. That's what you get when you date popular people," Susana commented, as if she knew what she was talking about.  
  
"But I don't like him," Lily protested, though she couldn't help throwing a glance up the table to see if James had heard her. He was staring at his plate, while Victoria was still glaring at him.  
  
Cass snorted. "Yeah, right. Lily, we know you do. It's so obvious."  
  
Lily sniffed, and looked up at the enchanted ceiling. So her friends knew. But what they'd said.  
  
"You're wrong," Lily said, looking back at her friends.  
  
"'Scuse me?" Cass replied, looking at Lily. She didn't know why she was so mad at her, but for some reason this Lily/James thing was making her really upset.  
  
"About James. He's different than you think he is."  
  
"Prove it," Cass said, pointing to James at the top of the table. "If he's different than you say, then ask him out tonight. If he's not too stuck up, he'll agree. I've seen the way he looks at you."  
  
Lily looked from James to Cass, then nodded once.  
  
"Tonight." 


	5. Give Up, Mudblood

A/n: Sirius causes trouble (not the funny kind, though) in this chapter, but don't get mad about it!. He's gonna make up for things in the next chapter (cuz I love sirius!) but in this one, he seemed like the best person to mess things up so here goes.  
  
  
  
FIVE/GIVE UP, MUDBLOOD  
  
9:00 that night, James was sitting in the common room, arm around Victoria. She'd forgiven him later that afternoon, but James was still fuming inside. He knew he should just break up with Jiji and Victoria, and ask Lily out, but for some reason he couldn't do it. Though, deep down, he knew the reason why. Victoria was as popular as him, if not more. If they broke up, he could loose a lot of what made him popular.  
  
James's fan club began gathering around, and Remus, Sirius, and Peter joined him in front of the fire to entertain. Tonight, they were trying to see what would happen if you crossed a chocolate frog with a fire-newt.  
  
Lily approached the group cautiously- she was more nervous than she'd even been in her life. Not only was she about to admit to James that she had a crush on him, Victoria might loose her temper, and everything might go wrong.  
  
James saw Lily out of the corner of his eye, though he made no move to go talk to her. Not only would Victoria loose it, but his friends would made a huge scene that he couldn't afford to have made right now.  
  
James didn't even reprimand himself this time. If he couldn't be with Lily, then why continue on his quest to being a better person? If there was no Lily there to keep him going, then he'd stay the way he was, with Victoria and his fan club. Because, though James refused to admit it to himself, that's what it all came down to. He COULD have been with Lily, had he chosen to be, but the fear of what loosing Victoria would cost him blinded him, held him back from the truth. And, terrible as this was, he could have changed his mind. But little did he know that soon, it would be too late.  
  
Lily watched until Sirius began the charm for crossing the chocolate frog & newt, then said, "James."  
  
He pretended like he didn't hear her.  
  
Lily's heart was pounding. She knew he heard her. Damn that Victoria, she'd caused so much trouble.  
  
"James," she said a bit louder. His eyes flickered to her, but a few others in the group had noticed her trying to get his attention, so he turned back to his friends. If he had to talk to her, it wasn't going to be in front of these people.  
  
Lily stared at James. Thoughts of asking him out were completely forgotten, now she was just getting annoyed. Why wouldn't he talk to her?  
  
"James!" She said loudly, over the laughing of the crowd. Sirius had managed to mix the two things, and it had resulted in a chocolate- covered newt that was bouncing around and breathing fire. This time, James turned to look at her, but caught Victoria's eye on his way. She was glaring.  
  
"Hey, James, I think Lily's trying to get your attention," Peter muttered to James.  
  
"Thanks wormtail, I think I figured that out," James said coldly. He was making things worse, but he really didn't know how to act. Victoria was right here, and if he'd given up on Lily, then he really didn't have to talk to her.  
  
Lily stepped forward, as if to pull James aside. She didn't know what was coming over her, but she refused to believe what she knew was true. James had lost the bet, and he was ignoring her. He was no different than Cass and Susana said he was. And she was about to make a big mistake.  
  
"James," she said again. This time, he couldn't deny that he'd heard her. He turned around, but Sirius got there first.  
  
"Scuse me, Lilian, but Mr. Potter is entertaining his friends. He's busy, go away."  
  
"Screw you, Sirius, " Lily said as a few people laughed. "I need to talk to James."  
  
"I thought you and Miss Victoria had a talk about this at lunch?" Sirius asked. The laughter died out when Vicky's name was mentioned, because she stood up. Things were about to get ugly.  
  
"That's right, we did," Victoria said. "Does it look to you like James can talk right now?"  
  
"I don't think I was talking to YOU, Vicky," Lily responded coldly, glaring at the pretty girl that was now standing in front of her.  
  
"I don't care who you were talking to, you great prat," Victoria snarled. The common room had gone dead silent. "He's MY boyfriend. Back off."  
  
"I don't care WHOSE boyfriend he is, I'm not trying to steal him. I need to TALK to him. And if you weren't such an overprotective bitch, maybe you'd see that!"  
  
The following silence seemed to press in around them. No one moved, and many people held their breaths.  
  
"What did you just call me?" Victoria asked in a low, vicious voice. Lily couldn't help it, she backed up a few steps. "I wouldn't be talking so confidently if I were you, Lily Evans. You're nothing, and you never will be. James will never date you, don't you see that? You're just an overachieving mudblood with no friends. Give up. It was a mistake when he talked to you the first time, and I'll make sure he's never going to again."  
  
Someone in the back of the crowd gave a stifled gasp when Victoria said "mudblood." Sirius and James were looking at the floor, both feeling as if they'd done something wrong. James obviously HAD, Victoria had made that clear. Sirius shifted uneasily, upset that he'd brought Victoria into this. Lily, who was crying now, looked at James for a brief moment, then ran out of the common room and through the portrait hole.  
  
No one followed her.  
  
Lily ran blindly, tears blurring her vision. When she stopped, nearly ten minutes later, she found herself beside the staircase to the dungeons, near the entrance hall. She sank down to the floor, back against the wall, sniffling and rubbing her eyes. She could barely think, only two thoughts were able to form in her mind. The first was that she shouldn't have persisted in talking to James just then. The second was that she'd just lost all hope in ever dating James. She sobbed, hearing Victoria's voice saying "mudblood" over and over again in her mind. Never, in her six years at Hogwarts, had she been as ashamed of being muggle-born as she was now.  
  
Lily sat against the wall for a long time, much later than any student should be allowed out of their dormitories. But, to her great luck, Lily wasn't caught. She snuck quietly back up to Gryffindor tower, and when she entered, she saw that the room was empty. Considering herself extremely lucky, she settled into an armchair by the fireplace. There was no way she was going up to the dormitory tonight, Victoria might kill her in her sleep. Or she might kill Victoria.  
  
Settling in, Lily closed her eyes and drifted into a fitful sleep, "mudblood" echoing through her mind. She tossed and turned, and finally curled up tightly on the chair, where she was able to calm down enough to get some real sleep.  
  
And that's where James found her early the next morning. 


	6. Get Over Yourself

Quick Disclaimer: JK Rowling was the one who made up the Yule Ball, not me! Its not very major, but just in case.  
  
SIX/GET OVER YOURSELF  
  
James found Lily sleeping in the common room very early the next morning. James, who had to get up for quidditch practice, decided he should wake her, just in case someone came down and decided to poke some fun with her.  
  
"Lily," James said quietly. "Wake up."  
  
Lily stirred, inhaling a deep breath and blinking her eyes. When she saw James standing over her, she looked up at him sadly.  
  
"Lily." James started, but stopped himself. //You decided, remember?//  
  
"Just go, James," Lily whispered. He noticed that her eyes were red, and there was no sparkle in them. "Go."  
  
"No, Lily, I shouldn't have." he stopped himself again, frustrated.  
  
"James, leave," she spoke louder this time, still sad but feeling as though she should stick up for herself. I'll be fine without you, if you can believe it."  
  
James just sort of stared. Then he shrugged, and sort of backed off. Still watching her, he suddenly felt hurt. Though he'd decided that he didn't like her, coming from her it seemed aweful, and he began to re-think his decision.  
  
"Without me?" He asked, as though trying out the words to see how they sounded. It bothered him a lot more than he would have liked.  
  
"Yes," Lily replied, staring stonily at him. //Why didn't he just leave?//  
  
He looked at her for one more moment, then turned and walked slowly out of the common room.  
  
  
  
That was the last thing that James and Lily said to each other for nearly two weeks. Each went on with their lives, James still as popular as ever, and Lily. still a nobody. But every time James saw Lily, he wanted to run over to her, and say something - anything - to make things better. But he knew that a simple apology wouldn't make up for the rift that was between them. It would call for drastic measures.  
  
Lily grew quiet in classes, preferring to keep to herself. She studied alone every night, and was in bed with her curtains shut long before Victoria came up to bed.  
  
It was at the end of these two weeks that James came upon a large group of people gathered around the doors of the great hall. He assumed it had something to do with Hogsmede, but with Christmas only four days away, he thought it odd for there to be a Hogsmede visit.  
  
"What's going on?" James asked a third year at the back of the crowd.  
  
"There's a Yule Ball on Christmas Eve," the third year replied, not looking at James. "Third years and up."  
  
James thought this over a bit. No doubt that Vicky would be forcing him to go to this, though he would have preferred to go with someone else.  
  
James pondered over this as he walked up to the Gryffindor common room to drop his books off before dinner. Now that he thought about it, ever since that night that Victoria had insulted Lily, James had been in a very bad mood with his girlfriend. They hadn't kissed in over a week, and he'd gone to bed early the night before just to escape her. But if he was over Victoria, then that meant he could date Lily.  
  
The moment he thought it, he realized how stupid he'd been being. What was he thinking, now he could be with Lily? First of all, she would never speak to him again if her life depended on it. And second, he could have been with her all along. But he'd broken his promise to her, and let his popularity get in the way. Now, because he'd been so full of himself, he'd lost a wonderful friend. and maybe more.  
  
Feeling sick to his stomach from his stupidity, James stumbled up the stairs to his dormitory, ignoring the group of people that greeted him when he entered the common room. He dropped his back of books on the floor and flung himself on his bed, face stuffed against the pillow. He was more miserable than he ever had been, and it was quite de-nerving. //The famous James Potter is a terrible person// he thought to himself. //I never should have let Lily get away. And now, I'll probably never speak with her again.//  
  
Someone knocked on the door. James listened and didn't say anything, hoping that whoever it was would go away and let him wallow in self-hate. To his great disappointment, the door pushed open slightly, and Sirius walked in.  
  
"James," Sirius said. James didn't move; didn't speak. //Go away// he thought. //Just leave me alone.//  
  
"James, Victoria's looking for you." James rolled over, giving up.  
  
"I don't care," James said, matter-of-factly.  
  
"I know," Sirius said, sitting down on his own bed and looking at James. James frowned.  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yeah," Sirius said. "She was going on about some Yule Ball." Sirius paused, then asked, "Are you going?"  
  
"No," James said. He rolled over again and spoke into his pillow. "I hate Victoria. She screwed everything up."  
  
"Are you sure it was Victoria?" Sirius asked. James sat up, looking his best friend square in the eye.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"It means, are you sure it's only Vicky's fault that you screwed up with Lily?" There, he'd said it. The very thing that James had been trying to deny to himself the past few weeks. He glared at Sirius.  
  
"What do you know?" James asked angrily. Sirius shrugged.  
  
"That you and Lily would have had a thing going there if you hadn't let your head get too big."  
  
"You're the one who dragged Victoria into this."  
  
"No, she did that herself that day at lunch. The problem, James, is that you didn't stop her then and there."  
  
"I couldn't have." James's voice was calmer now, and full of regret.  
  
"Yeah, you could've," Sirius challenged. "And you can still fix things now. Do us ALL a favor, and get over yourself and ask Lily to the Yule Ball."  
  
James stared at his best friend. Sirius stared right back. True, what he'd just said had been harsh, and maybe he shouldn't have said it. But James needed to hear it, whether anyone else realized it or not. Whether JAMES realized it or not.  
  
James thought about what Sirius had just said to him. He should have been hurt, or upset, or even just amazed that his best friend had the nerve to be so honest with him. But James didn't pick either of these things. He finally realized that what Lily had said so long ago HAD been true, and he'd known it all along. He just never had the guts to recognize it fully until now.  
  
"Yeah, I am a pretty big asshole, aren't I?"  
  
"The biggest," Sirius grinned.  
  
"How long have you known I liked Lily?" James asked, eyeing his best friend suspiciously.  
  
"Since that divination lesson when you busted the crystal balls - which was pretty brilliant, I should add. I saw the way you were looking at her. It was really sick." James grinned at his friend.  
  
"So, you think I should ditch Vicky and ask Lily to the dance?" James asked, getting off his bed and heading towards the door. Sirius got up and followed, saying, "I think you know what to do."  
  
James grinned. //He's right, I do.// And James began preparing himself to be really, really embaressed. 


	7. With or Without You

A/n: Hahahahaha I changed the ending!!!!!! This is gonna have a sequel so I had to get rid of the very end. bwahahaha.. By the way the sequel may be titled "I Remember You" but um.iilll tell u somehow if I change it! So , ciao!  
  
SEVEN/ WITH OR WITHOUT YOU  
  
James had prepared everything perfectly. He was going to do it right in the middle of the common room, just to make sure that Lily got the full effect.  
  
James was dressed up in bright pink robes, with lace trimming and little white hearts embroidered on the sleeves. He'd also conjured up a bouquet of the most gorgeous flowers anyone has ever laid their eyes on. There were magenta and turquoise ones, as well as neon yellow and bloodred, periwinkle blue and bright green. Sirius, who'd been helping James prepare, was rolling on the floor with laughter at the sight of his best friend.  
  
"Oh, Shut up, you," James said, though he couldn't help grinning himself. "Are you sure she's down there?"  
  
"Yeah, I got Peter to make sure that she sticks around," Sirius said, sitting up and stifling his laughter for a moment. Tears were streaming down his cheeks from laughing so hard. "But I wouldn't be surprised if she ran out when she saw you coming," Sirius added, and began howling with laughter again.  
  
"All right, here I go," James said, and couldn't help laughed when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. "Wish me luck!" Sirius continued laughing, but got up and trotted after James.  
  
"No way I'm missing this," Sirius managed to choke out through his laughter.  
  
James emerged into the common room to find it packed with people. It seemed that everyone in the house had responded to James's plea for help - he'd asked them all to be present tonight for a joke he was going to perform. The joke seemed to have worked, because as he walked into the room, the crowd errupted with laughter so deafening that it sounded as if an explosion had occurred.  
  
James made his way over to a very surprised and confused looking Lily, who had been talking to Peter in the corner. James nodded, and Peter backed away, barely containing his laughter. James got down on one knee and waited for the laughter to stop.  
  
When finally he could be heard over the remaining giggles, James cleared his throat and took Lily's hand. She stared at him, still angry with him but grinning slightly all the same. You just had to laugh to see James Potter dressed up in a frilly, hot pink robe.  
  
"Lil," James began, and the room dropped into an anticipative silence. "A while ago, you and I made a bet. We agreed that I was a complete air-head, and probably didn't deserve the popularity that I had. And I was supposed to shape up.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry to say that I didn't, so I'm fulfilling my part of the bet. But don't get to smug-" he added, as her grin widened, "because I'm going to change. Forever. I'm not going to do things just for popularity anymore, as embarrassing as it is to admit that that's what I'd been doing. But I'm going to change. I just hope that you can find it in your heart to believe me."  
  
James pulled out the bouquet of flowers from behind his back, and held them out. Lily took them, speechless, and her grin turned into a genuine smile. James continued on with his little monologue.  
  
"I know you probably hate me right now, but I was kind of hoping that you could help me change. You're a wonderful, sweet, and funny person Lily. But even if you DO hate me, I just want to say this: I Love You, with or without you loving me back."  
  
Lily looked James up and down, still smiling. Then, shaking her head and laughing slightly as if she couldn't believe what he'd just done for her, pulled James up into a tight hug and said, "I love you, too."  
  
The room errupted. There was noise beyond the amount there had been when James had entered the room. The hoards of people were happy with the way things worked out for the two of them. And, come to think of it, Lily and James were pretty happy with it, too.  
  
Lily went to bed that night happier than she ever had been in her life. She slipped into her PJs with a smile on her face that didn't falter as she climbed into bed. She and James had finally gotten together! And in just a few days, she and James would be dancing away at the Yule Ball.  
  
With that thought, Lily drifted off too sleep.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~ Little did the beautiful, sleeping Lily Evans know, but the ball would be the beginning of the rest of her life- in more ways than one.  
  
A/N: To find out what happens, read I REMEMBER YOU coming soon!!!!!! 


End file.
